


the sixth love language involves lobsters

by shivadyne



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shivadyne/pseuds/shivadyne
Summary: “I am getting this lobster,” he says, staring him in the eyes. He doesn’t say much else for long enough that it gets uncomfortable. “If not, it is all for naught.”Ryuji rests a hand against the sign with the price for the tank. “You got the yen for it?”Yusuke peers through the tank, sees the numbers, and pales dramatically. He slowly puts the tank back down. “I have made a vital error.”
Relationships: Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	the sixth love language involves lobsters

**Author's Note:**

> there's no tag for lobsters and i'm really sad about it :( this is not very serious and a spur of the moment "hehe what if" thing i wrote

Ryuji sighs, leaning forward against the register counter and looking around at the completely empty pet shop. He’s always stuck on the late evening shift, a time where no one besides the dearly desperate comes in for kibble or whatever the fuck. “This shit sucks,” he says to the kittens lying around in the kennels.

One of the kittens bats her paw at him before turning around and curling up in a ball to fall asleep.

Ryuji slumps forward so that he’s practically lying across the counter before straightening up and shooting the security camera in the corner a worried glance. “Eff this,” he mutters as he steps away to pretend to be busy in the fish aisle while contemplating how many bettas he can rescue with his shitty fucking paycheck. “Maybe, like, two? Three?” he mumbles, wondering if his roommate’s cat might end up trying to eat them.

The door slamming open stops his planning on being Ryuji Sakamoto, savior of betta fish, and shunts him back down to the low-grade role of Ryuji Sakamoto, underpaid store employee. The bell above the door jingles merrily in contrast to the loud-ass footsteps of a customer that’s apparently in a big fucking hurry.

Ryuji scratches his head as he meanders over to attempt customer service. “Uh, you need some help?” he asks the tall, skinny man with the shock of blue hair. He tilts his head, noticing dried paint stains on the guy’s clothes.

Yusuke looks at him disdainfully. “I don’t need some “help,” but I do need to acquire a lobster.”

“A lobster,” Ryuji repeats blankly, not even bothered by his snippy tone. He’s used to being treated like this from customers. The old ladies can be the shittiest people, he’s learned, and they love to talk shit about his bad manners and his dyed hair while he’s standing right there. Literally right there. He shakes off the thought. “Why do you need a fu—frickin’ lobster, dude?”

“To keep,” Yusuke says, with a very long and unnecessary pause. “As a pet.”

“Dude, we don’t sell any lobsters,” Ryuji says, running a hand through his hair. “It’s a pretty small chain. We’ve got like kittens, hamsters, fish, turtles, some lizards, and I think we’ve got a couple hermit crabs, but that’s it.”

“Where would I go about acquiring a lobster then?” Yusuke asks, leaning forward into Ryuji’s personal space and staring at him beseechingly. “I am in dire need of one,” he says, clasping his hands together. “I beg of you, assist me in acquiring a lobster.”

Ryuji thinks about how he’s being paid a little over 800 yen an hour and decides that this is far above his paygrade for shit he wants to deal with. “Dude, I don’t know. Can’t you just go to some fancy restaurant and bribe them to give you a lobster?”

Yusuke grabs Ryuji’s hands, staring into his eyes for a long and deeply uncomfortable moment. He says, “You have been sent to me from the gods.” Then he abruptly whirls away, heading towards the door.

Ryuji watches him leave, completely silent. He blinks a few times. “What the eff, man.” He shakes his head and turns around to go stare at the hamsters spinning on their wheel for a bit.

***

Ryuji doesn’t think much about the encounter, mostly because he spends a good deal of his time performing customer service in a zoned-out daze. He’s not even sure he could remember what day it was, and it was just last week when the whole thing happened.

But then the guy fucking comes back.

“I need a 20-gallon tank. And as many plants as you can possibly put in it,” Yusuke says, clutching his messenger bag with one arm and gesturing broadly towards the back of the store with the other.

Ryuji tilts his head at him. “Did the lobster thing work?” he asks, leading the way towards the tanks that they have for sale. He thinks there’s probably a tank big enough around somewhere, but he honestly doesn’t give a shit if there isn’t so…

“The head chef did not seem particularly pleased with my question or the offer of my yen, but I am determined to acquire a lobster from him sometime soon,” Yusuke says as he follows him.

“I’m gonna be real with you, dude,” Ryuji says, gesturing towards the tank. “I don’t know if a guy like you can even lift a tank like this.” He wonders if this is shitty customer service, but facts are that this thing is about 25 pounds and this guy looks like he could be killed by having one of the kittens sit on his chest.

Yusuke lifts the tank with ease. “I am getting this lobster,” he says, staring him in the eyes. He doesn’t say much else for long enough that it gets uncomfortable. “If not, it is all for naught.”

Ryuji rests a hand against the sign with the price for the tank. “You got the yen for it?”

Yusuke peers through the tank, sees the numbers, and pales dramatically. He slowly puts the tank back down. “I have made a vital error.”

Ryuji sighs, scratching at his head. “Look, man, I don’t know a fu—frickin’ thing about you, but I can tell that you’re acting pretty weirdly focused on getting a pet lobster. Do you… do you have a reason for it?” He’s not sure why he’s asking or why he even cares, but he’s so bored of asking the same questions with a fake smile that he supposes he can blame it on the performative nature of retail. It’s pretty goddamn lonely.

“My friend Futaba took me to the beach,” Yusuke says, staring at the tank with the saddest eyes a person could possibly have. “And I saw them. The most beautiful creatures I have ever rested my eyes on. Lobsters.” He sighs dreamily. “I just knew then that they were it for me. The perfect muse. And as it just so happens, I’ve been suffering artist’s block while taking my classes. I need this lobster for my final portfolio. If I can’t have one… I suppose I will wither away, forever known as a failure of an artist that Van Gogh would spit on if he were to meet me… oh, the cruelty of it all…”

Ryuji raises an eyebrow, then his other eyebrow to follow that eyebrow. He opens his mouth to say something, thinks about it, and closes it again. Then he opens his mouth again. Closes it. He finally wills himself to ask, “So… you need a pet lobster for, like, an art project? Couldn’t you just find a video online of a lobster or ask that restaurant guy to observe the lobster or… or… something?”

“It is not the same,” Yusuke says, shaking his head. “If I have no connection to the lobster, if I know that the lobster’s life is on the line for the entirety of my painting, I simply cannot bear the thought. I don’t know if I could paint with that on my mind. And I do not want my art to be coming from a dark place, but instead a place that’s light and filled with… hope…” He pauses, staring at Ryuji with widening eyes.

“…What?” Ryuji asks, feeling uncomfortable. He tries to casually sniff his armpit to see if he smells.

“You,” Yusuke says, stepping closer to him. He raises both his hands up to frame Ryuji’s face between his fingers, eying him with a focus that is incredibly uncomfortable to be under. “You could be my muse instead. My search for the lobster brought me to you, and you have gone above and beyond your duties as an associate of a retail establishment to assist me in my goals.” He drops his hands. “My name is Yusuke Kitagawa. I would like to paint you as soon as possible.”

Ryuji frowns, not sure he understands. “Why would you want to paint me? I’m nothin’ special, you know? I’ve got this roommate, though, that’d probably be a way better model for you to paint or whatever. Maybe I can introduce you guys?”

Yusuke shakes his head. “No, Ryuji of whom I don’t know the last name.”

“Sakamoto.”

Yusuke continues without so much as batting an eye at the interruption. “No, Ryuji Sakamoto, it is not that which I desire to capture. Anyone can capture a person’s attractiveness. But the ability to capture the essence of hope, all that is light and good in the world… that is something I wish to pursue. Ryuji, I will have you and no one else.”

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck, rocking back on the balls of his feet. “You’re talkin’ a bit too serious for me, but if it means a lot to you… I guess I could help or somethin’. You gonna pay me?”

“As much as you desire!”

“…I’m thinking you can buy me ramen and we can call it even,” Ryuji says, scuffing his shoe along the linoleum tile. It squeaks against it, a grating sound that he’s grown used to against his will. “Gimme your phone and we’ll exchange numbers.”

Yusuke smiles, far too brightly for a dude to be smiling at someone like him. “Of course.” He exchanges numbers with Ryuji, typing his number into the phone offered to him. “I am grateful for all you have done to me. I will acquire you the finest ramen I can possibly find as repayment.”

Ryuji shoves his hands into his jean pockets, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the hero worship thing. “I know a place. ‘S not a big deal or nothin’, kay? I’ll talk to you later. You should head out of here and go back to your dorm or wherever.”

Yusuke drops his phone into his messenger bag, walking backwards towards the entrance and just barely avoiding walking into one of the displays full of betta fish. “I will call you immediately when I have been able to acquire all the supplies I will need,” he says, walking directly into the door. He doesn’t even flinch, turning around to exit as if he meant to do that.

Ryuji mostly feels grateful that the betta fish have survived another day. He’s not sure how much longer that’ll last, but still. “Yeah… uh… see ya.” He wonders just what the hell he got himself into.


End file.
